There is no set syllabus at EQUUS, because whereas fear has a big hold on my life—the Van life clothing retro vintage van dwellers vanlife nomads shirt but in fact I love this fear of aging, that I’ll never finish my book, that I’ll end up in an Alzheimer’s home, like my mother—other people may need to explore different things: boundaries, creativity, grief, leadership, or joy. I approach the horses, expecting them to rear and trample me, and my heart threatens to catapult onto the sand. But as I chat to them and stroke their manes, never mounting them, each remains somewhat calm, expressing its own personality. One is playful, another wary. Cooper, a brown quarter gelding with gorgeous undulating flanks, catches my eye. Three hours pass dreamily as I amble from horse to horse, until the strangest thing happens: They all lie down on the ground. As long as I put up no false front, they can relax, which brings me peace as well. I wonder why fear should ever defeat me. When I get back to the hotel, I weep.
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The next morning, some equine magic draws me back to Cooper. He presses up against me with warm support, like a gentle nurse. What can I say? I connect with thiVan life clothing retro vintage van dwellers vanlife nomads shirt but in fact I love this s nearly 900-pound champion as if he were a mirror. “He doesn’t engage much,” Wendorf tells me, explaining that Cooper is a thinker who tends to live inside his head. “But when he does, it’s serious.”